- I am not African because I was born in Africa but because Africa was born in me. ~Kwame Nkrumah
+ Guyana (Words by Guyanese) – I’ve always been pro-black. I’ve been pro-black before I owned my first Ankara print outfit. I’ve been pro-black before natural hair was “in”. I’ve been pro-black before I even knew the term pro-black or Afrocentric existed.
I’ve always felt pride and the need to celebrate my blackness openly and unapologetically. I really can’t explain where this feeling stemmed from, just the way I can’t explain why my skin grows and a series of untapped emotions are evoked in me when I hear the sounds of drums. I have often wondered if I was born with “the drums of Africa…[beating] in my heart” like Mary Mc Cleod Bethune.
However, I can recall as a child flipping through an old history book at my cousin’s house and seeing images depicting enslaved people for the first time. The book sparked something with in me. I took it home and would flip through the pages even though I wasn’t able to comprehend the words fully. That book may be the reason for my awakening and I still flip through the pages every now and then.
I have lost track of the amount of times I have been told that I am “too black” and why do I need to wear my blackness so openly. And yes, these comments came solely from my fellow Afro-Guyanese. I began to realize that others were somewhat uncomfortable with the way I displayed my blackness. I have found myself in situations where I had to tell folks that being pro-black doesn’t mean you are racist, or that you don’t love or appreciate other ethnic groups.
It’s just that if you don’t love yourself or fight for yourself who will?…and hell yes, I wear my blackness on my sleeves because black is my core and I have no apologies!
However, there have been moments of confusion when I have questioned my identity. Should I identify as Afro-Guyanese or just Guyanese? It didn’t help that a particular friend of mine would teasingly say to me you are a “wanna be African”. Further, there were moments that I found myself in the company of Africans and there would be a feeling of resentment towards them. For they knew where they came from, they had their language, their culture and all I had was knowing that my ancestors came from “some part” of West Africa.
After those encounters, in my quiet time I began to think about who I am, and three things always came to mind: I am black, I am womb-man and I am Guyanese.
I later decided that the fitting label for me is Afro-Guyanese. I was not born on the African continent…I am a Guyanese of African descent. Don’t get me wrong, I honour my ancestry. However, Guyana is where my navel string was cut and buried. Guyana is “wey meh barn and grow”. Yes, my blackness has been a confounding factor in it all, but I can’t claim to be solely “African” because the lived experiences of those born in the motherland isn’t mine and never will be. This was confirmed when I visited The Gambia, Kenya and Rwanda.
For example, The Gambia did feel somewhat familiar, the people looked like me and I looked like them. Of course, when I opened my mouth to speak they knew I wasn’t one of them. However, apart from the language differences the same way I recognized that I had a lot in common with them, I also recognized the significant differences.
I loved The Gambia but all the while being there my mind was on home because as they say there is no place like home. In my world, there is no place like Guyana! Additionally, I have come to realize that I know way more than “my ancestors came from some part of west Africa”. I know without doubt that I am Guyanese, and I revel in the richness of our culture; the way we does talk, the way we does walk and how we does do everything with “Guyanese feistiness”.
My roots are in Africa, my stems and branches are in Guyana but my fruits are global.
I am proud to be an Afro-Guyanese womb-man!
