Like almost any typical Guyanese girl, I grew up thinking that I knew what it meant to be a woman.
It was simple, all the women I looked up to in my life had the same things in common, they were successful, married, had children, a home, a good job, etc.
In my early teens, I remember envisioning what my life would be like – having the perfect job, husband, children, and home.
As I grew older, my list got shorter and I questioned what it meant to be a woman, above all a Guyanese woman.
I spent years listening to my elders praise the women who furthered their education, got good jobs, and did everything else in the right order, basically the ones that followed through with the cultural norms.
Whereas women who gave birth before getting married were used as examples of what I shouldn’t be or do.
In my early adulthood, I’ve come across so many different women who have made an impression on me.
Women who are married and have children and are still completing their education, women with kids and no intentions of getting married, some of them are just enjoying life and being free with no responsibilities and the list goes on.
I realised that these women all have different perspectives on their womanhood and different philosophies on how to go about living a happy life despite what society says about sticking to cultural norms.
So today, I realise that being a woman – is being human and recognizing the complexity that comes with it.
I am allowed to define my womanhood, which means I get to choose at what point in my life I do what.
For years the Guyanese society has poisoned the minds of our women. We are always being told to stick to the norms; it is no doubt that times are changing but when will normalize truly embracing our definition of what it means to be a woman.
It is about recognizing the strength that comes with womanhood. The strength of our hearts, minds, and bodies, differ from woman to woman and also differ culturally.
At 17, I wanted to be married and have 13 kids.
Now, at 21, I no longer want to be married and I do not want kids. I know for a fact that I am not the only woman with this mentality and it’s okay. These qualities do not define me as a woman. What defines me is my ability to fully embrace and make those decisions for myself.
And so, if you’re like me and you’re afraid of society’s judgment of not wanting these things for yourself, remember that your choice as a woman is your right.
